Living away from home is always a fantasy for all when we are young. No lectures from parents for studies, outings with friends and ample pocket money is what we all aspire to achieve once we are in teens. This fantasy most time takes U turn when we find ourselves fixed with a roommate with a different taste. Few of the ones that I have come across are:
#1.The free snoring factory
These are the roommates which make your wish come true of “Is raat ki subah hi nahi ”. They would make sure to snore so loud that you would feel even a Harley could be put to shame. No matter how hard you try, you can’t put their inlets to peace. The only time they stop snoring is when out of frustration you hit them with your elbow to let you sleep as well. Their reply “Was I Snoring?” and in reply you only feel like kicking his A**!
#2.The mommy’s lad
These are the ones who always want to go back home and sit in the lap of their mommies. The strong bond of attraction for home at times make you think if you are a real or an adopted kid since your strings of attachment for home don’t make you “Cry” Almost.The one thing they do the most is to shuffle calendars to see how many days are left for them to be at home again.They have a habit to call at home at least twice a day.
#3.The fog mates
This category guys not only make your life miserable with odd timings of smoking but also keep memories of the advertisement flashing your head “Cigarette smoking causes Lung cancer” and you are worried about your lungs more than his.All you see around is hell lot of buds in wash basin or floating in the shit pots. While some care of you being a non-smoker, most make you a passive chain smoker.
#4.Friend only phone
This category is always lost in their phones to an extent you would find them texting even while eating food. No matter what you talk and what discussion your entire flat is going through, these chaps will be lost in the Phone and keep staring at it with fascination.
#5. Eat as if you were to die today
The sole motto of their good morning is to get up and get going. Going in terms of eating anything and everything that is offered on the dining table. They have some high rpm machine installed in their stomach that churns out anything with so ease that they are hungry in few minutes again and still pretend to be diet conscious.
If you are fortunate enough you may have one masterchef.
The Master Chef
They are really good at cooking. Its very fortunate to have such roommate they can literally make anything provided a recipe . You just plead before them to prepare something to eat and generous roommates prepares it but other prepares it on a condition 😉
#6.The Cleaning Freaks
If you love cleaning to some extent then it’s okay but if not then get ready for partition and collisions with such well organized creatures. They would mark the territory which they would always keep clean and keep scolding you like the scolding you use to get at home from your mother for not keeping clean. They are addicted to cleaning to an extent that you get to see the cleaning of the things which you can’t even imagine such as dust over photo frames , TV screen, fan, fridge, washing of bedsheets, the pillow covers, the college bag OMG!
you name any brand making news in the market and this category folks will show you that brand residing in their wardrobes since ages. They are often the rich dad’s son that often makes you feel jealous. They also don’t forget to flaunt their style and are often talks of the gals group and often you dream of getting into his group.
This chap is master in Fenkology. They make sure what all topic you talk about, they have already gone through it or any damn distant family member of theirs have definitely gone through the stuff you are talking about. Even if you say “I was to die today” instead asking “how” they would reply “Aree tum kya marne waale the, marne wala toh mein tha ek baar and that story starts with you taking the audience seat. Popcorns please.
All you hear is a yes from them most time. They try to be everyone’s favorite by going with the flow. They won’t reveal their real thoughts. Pleasing all is their every day’s motto.
Our advice to them
While 6 packs definitely should be flaunted, these wanna be models are always roaming in the balconies, looking down the lane to attract by passers crossing lanes and you have to often remind them “Bhai shirt daal de, landlord aunty ne nikaal dene flat se ”
Don’t go by the literal meaning of the word but this category of people would smuggle your stuff to their rooms and when you assume your stuff to be lost you find it in their rooms. The biggest challenge is to control your emotion when you see the stuff wasn’t lost and the simultaneous anxiety to claim your stuff back coz you feel it might sound rude.
#12. The Infants
These seems to have left home for the first time and haven’t learned anything in life in terms of living like cooking, cleaning, washing ,iron,purchasing and it becomes your responsibility to take care of them.
Thank god! that they can have food themselves 🙂
#13. The bathroom Jammers
You would never want them to enter bathroom before you. These are the ones who takes hell lot of time to take bath and you just wonder what the hell they do inside 😉
Hold on for the last one. This is the last but the biggest blast
#14.The money misers
Now I am sure, this category you all would have come across. Still I would elaborate them as per my experience. These chaps have lost the words like contribution, outings, shopping from their dictionary. They won’t hesitate to claim their 5 rupees back from you but if you are to receive your 50 rupees back all you get is an assurance to settle scores in few days. Even if they go on an outing with you they would not shell out a penny to eat out unless you volunteer to pay for them. However, they would assure you to pay you back once they reach home. Once you reach home you realize it was a bad debt.
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